dijous, 20 de març de 2008

Happy Easter

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his firstwitness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked,
'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded,
'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.
'The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' She again replied,
'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.
'The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.

Thanks, Katia, for your contribution!

7 comentaris:

Edu ha dit...

Question: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
Answer: His lips are moving.

;)

nur ha dit...

Ostres, he rebut aquesta història en forma de Powerpoint i en castellà aquesta mateixa setmana!

Per cert, com que tothom té dret a la defensa, forçosament els advocats han de mentir i no és que jo sigui defensora de l'advocacia, però m'he empassat unes quantes lleis i sobretot moltes pelis de judicis! So lawyers must lie to protect their customers :P

quim ha dit...

Un dia un jove estudiant de dret li va preguntar a l'advocat per a qui treballava:

- Com és que en el litigi per qui es queda la vaca, vostè li ha dit a una de les parts que té tota la raó, que la vaca és seva i poques hores després li ha dit exactament el mateix a la part contrària?

I l'advocat li contesta.

-Noi, perquè la vaca al final no serà ni de l'un ni de l'altre sinó nostra.

Ferran ha dit...

Haha!, that's a good one, Edu!

Nur no voldria veure'm a la pell dels advocats, especialment de segons quins...

Haha, també bona aquesta, Quim. Ja és això, em sembla, ja...

Xavi ha dit...

El jutje com a mínim devia haver-s'ho muntat d'amagat amb el gos de la tendra velleta.

Núria ha dit...

Coneixeu aquella dita que diu "Advocats i procuradors, a l'infern, de dos en dos". Hi ha moments que penso que sort que no vaig estudiar per advocada.

Ferran ha dit...

Ai, Xavi, això sí que no ho sé! :)

Núria pobres advocats. Bé, o potser no tan pobres, amb el que cobren pels seus serveis...